pumpkinstrokemarrow

I am very pleased to be able to report that according to an email leaked from No 10 early this morning and reported in today's DT, Sir Gordon Ponsey is to be raised to the life peerage as Lord Ponse for services to school kitchens.

The notes for editors included some of the following material. The Ponse is the name of a house in St George's Hill, Sir Gordon's present domicile. He may, of course, now need somewhere a bit grander. The award was made for breathtaking initiative in the serving of Scouse pies at the Wallasey City Technology college, formerly a bog standard comprehensive, now a model of educational achievement. It seems that their course on (or perhaps in) soap studies rivals the best. The initiative consisted of serving the pies on triangular white plates, together with a puddle of coulis distilled from the finest brown sauce (only to be found in the furthest corners of Tuscany) and a drizzle of mushy peas. It is understood that Sir Gordon now proposes to move to the Railton Road where he hopes to repeat his success, perhaps with a move to black plates in order to show respect.