Friday, April 03, 2009
Brave licensee wanted!
Just breakfasted off the remains of Wednesday's cow chop, in slices of bread and fashioned as rolls. Very fine breakfast it was too.
So fine that I thought of a very fine wheeze to tweak the tails of all those smoking bisease. Readers will recall that it is legal, perhaps because luvease have friends in high places, for actors (and actresses) to smoke on-stage during the course of bona-fide theatrical productions (http://www.smokefreeengland.co.uk/thefacts/the-regulations.html).
So, step 1, find a brave licensee who is prepared to take a poke at the authorities. A poke which might poke his pocket a bit. But I dare say the rest of us would chip in a bit.
Step 2, find a resting actor fond of fags and booze. Needs to be someone who is an Equity member so that the artistic element of the event is indeed bona-fide. Get him to put together a small show involving lots of extras, fags and booze. Perhaps saying something about conceptual art as the true drama of life. Need to get the right words from the Arts Council for Surrey website, guide for applicants for dosh page (http://www.artscouncil.org.uk/funding/).
Step 3, find a sponsor from the tobacco industry. Maybe through a blind trust as they could not seem to be taking a poke at the tabernacle of the law themselves. Perhaps invite the Cuban ambassador (http://www.cubaldn.com/).
Step 4, prepare stage in the upstairs front room of selected public house. Install supplies of smoking and drinking kit. Warm beer (needs a few days to settle). Ashtrays. Chairs for extras to sit on when not extring. Web-cam.
Step 5, advertise production. Set up blog. Invite George Galloway (http://www.georgegalloway.com/).
Step 6, actor and extras proceed to booze and smoke the night away in the course of this very important artistic statement.
Step 7, wait to see what, if anything, the bisease do about it. My charitable guess is that the licensee would get a slap over the wrist with a limp lettuce leaf and told not to do it again. You've had your fun but don't push your luck.
Step 8, acquire life-style related ailment. But we leave that aside in the interests of freedom.
So fine that I thought of a very fine wheeze to tweak the tails of all those smoking bisease. Readers will recall that it is legal, perhaps because luvease have friends in high places, for actors (and actresses) to smoke on-stage during the course of bona-fide theatrical productions (http://www.smokefreeengland.co.uk/thefacts/the-regulations.html).
So, step 1, find a brave licensee who is prepared to take a poke at the authorities. A poke which might poke his pocket a bit. But I dare say the rest of us would chip in a bit.
Step 2, find a resting actor fond of fags and booze. Needs to be someone who is an Equity member so that the artistic element of the event is indeed bona-fide. Get him to put together a small show involving lots of extras, fags and booze. Perhaps saying something about conceptual art as the true drama of life. Need to get the right words from the Arts Council for Surrey website, guide for applicants for dosh page (http://www.artscouncil.org.uk/funding/).
Step 3, find a sponsor from the tobacco industry. Maybe through a blind trust as they could not seem to be taking a poke at the tabernacle of the law themselves. Perhaps invite the Cuban ambassador (http://www.cubaldn.com/).
Step 4, prepare stage in the upstairs front room of selected public house. Install supplies of smoking and drinking kit. Warm beer (needs a few days to settle). Ashtrays. Chairs for extras to sit on when not extring. Web-cam.
Step 5, advertise production. Set up blog. Invite George Galloway (http://www.georgegalloway.com/).
Step 6, actor and extras proceed to booze and smoke the night away in the course of this very important artistic statement.
Step 7, wait to see what, if anything, the bisease do about it. My charitable guess is that the licensee would get a slap over the wrist with a limp lettuce leaf and told not to do it again. You've had your fun but don't push your luck.
Step 8, acquire life-style related ailment. But we leave that aside in the interests of freedom.
# posted by Jim @ 1:27 AM 
