Thursday, May 07, 2009
Doctoral affairs
To the doctor's today for my three yearly left aural excavation. Can now hear the cars on my left as I overtake them in the eastbound queue at Kiln Lane.
But was moved to ponder why we call general practitioners' premises surgeries. I don't suppose most general practitioners have done any surgery for a very long time and even now do not get, at least in so far as I understand things, much beyond dealing with warts and problem toe-nails. That is not to say that they are not valuble members of the community; just that they are not really surgeons.
And as I got warmed up, was moved to ponder on why it is that, rich country as we are, we have hived off out-of-office-hours primary care by doctors to what appear to be a rather dubious bunch of agencies who hire interesting people from all sorts of interesting backgrounds. One might have thought that most surgeries were big enough operations to do their own out of hours work, leaving the agencies to cover the odd hole rather than the whole business. Do they bother to monitor the work of these agencies? Who is their employer? Does some agency doctor hauled out to the wilds of Stamford Green in the middle of the night when I am feeling really grim - like death warmed up as my mother might have said - have access to my records? Would I want him to? All in all, it seems to me that all this is another blunder to lay at the door of the Blair-Brown-Bunch. Not that I entertain much hope that the Old Etonian crew will do much about it when they get back in next year. Maybe they own all the agencies.
And I am sorry to have to report yet another coup by the road marking industry. They managed to persuade the relevant local government outfit that Ruxley Lane really needed more white markings. So, as you approach the southern end of Ruxley Lane, you have a row of smaller houses on your left. This part of the road is often occupied by the queue of cars and other vehicles waiting for the lights at the Chessington Road junction. Now the white line gang have painted large 'KEEP CLEAR' messages on the road at the bottom of every drive, with the gap between every message being approximately the same size as the message. Completely pointless addition to the already large amount of white line clutter. To be fair, although it is the first time that I have seen these messages, they have probably been there for a while. Perhaps they got in first. But still rather silly.
For April Fool next, I am going to see if I can procure some imitation lighted cigarettes. Naturally, the idea is for them to be as realistic as possible, bearing in mind the careful drafting of the regulations: '... smoking includes being in possession of lit tobacco or of anything lit which contains tobacco, or being in possession of any other lit substance in a form in which it could be smoked ...' (Health Act 2006, Chapter 28, Part 1, Chapter 1, Section 1.2b). So while it would be good if the fake cigarette could be puffed in such a way as to emit smoke, it must not be lit. I am sure an imaginative chemist could come up something. We then assemble a dozen or so people good for a stunt and stroll into a pub, order some drinks, sidle off to a quiet part of the pub and then get out the fags. Sit back and observe reaction of pub staff and others. Maybe one would need to have a bit of care to choose a boozer where the staff might have a sense of humour. Also where the customers were known to be heavy smokers. You score a bulls-eye if the pub is moved to call in the local authority enforcement brigade before they find out that no-one is breaking the law. You score a double bulls-eye if, without advance planning, the pub calls in the enforcement brigade after they find out.
In the meantime, I must get to whoever writes the contents pages for these things and explain to him or her that it is not usual to have two layers of chapters, in the way that this act does. One has to have differant words for the various levels. No excuse that the regulations are so complicated, with so many levels, that they run out of suitable words.
But was moved to ponder why we call general practitioners' premises surgeries. I don't suppose most general practitioners have done any surgery for a very long time and even now do not get, at least in so far as I understand things, much beyond dealing with warts and problem toe-nails. That is not to say that they are not valuble members of the community; just that they are not really surgeons.
And as I got warmed up, was moved to ponder on why it is that, rich country as we are, we have hived off out-of-office-hours primary care by doctors to what appear to be a rather dubious bunch of agencies who hire interesting people from all sorts of interesting backgrounds. One might have thought that most surgeries were big enough operations to do their own out of hours work, leaving the agencies to cover the odd hole rather than the whole business. Do they bother to monitor the work of these agencies? Who is their employer? Does some agency doctor hauled out to the wilds of Stamford Green in the middle of the night when I am feeling really grim - like death warmed up as my mother might have said - have access to my records? Would I want him to? All in all, it seems to me that all this is another blunder to lay at the door of the Blair-Brown-Bunch. Not that I entertain much hope that the Old Etonian crew will do much about it when they get back in next year. Maybe they own all the agencies.
And I am sorry to have to report yet another coup by the road marking industry. They managed to persuade the relevant local government outfit that Ruxley Lane really needed more white markings. So, as you approach the southern end of Ruxley Lane, you have a row of smaller houses on your left. This part of the road is often occupied by the queue of cars and other vehicles waiting for the lights at the Chessington Road junction. Now the white line gang have painted large 'KEEP CLEAR' messages on the road at the bottom of every drive, with the gap between every message being approximately the same size as the message. Completely pointless addition to the already large amount of white line clutter. To be fair, although it is the first time that I have seen these messages, they have probably been there for a while. Perhaps they got in first. But still rather silly.
For April Fool next, I am going to see if I can procure some imitation lighted cigarettes. Naturally, the idea is for them to be as realistic as possible, bearing in mind the careful drafting of the regulations: '... smoking includes being in possession of lit tobacco or of anything lit which contains tobacco, or being in possession of any other lit substance in a form in which it could be smoked ...' (Health Act 2006, Chapter 28, Part 1, Chapter 1, Section 1.2b). So while it would be good if the fake cigarette could be puffed in such a way as to emit smoke, it must not be lit. I am sure an imaginative chemist could come up something. We then assemble a dozen or so people good for a stunt and stroll into a pub, order some drinks, sidle off to a quiet part of the pub and then get out the fags. Sit back and observe reaction of pub staff and others. Maybe one would need to have a bit of care to choose a boozer where the staff might have a sense of humour. Also where the customers were known to be heavy smokers. You score a bulls-eye if the pub is moved to call in the local authority enforcement brigade before they find out that no-one is breaking the law. You score a double bulls-eye if, without advance planning, the pub calls in the enforcement brigade after they find out.
In the meantime, I must get to whoever writes the contents pages for these things and explain to him or her that it is not usual to have two layers of chapters, in the way that this act does. One has to have differant words for the various levels. No excuse that the regulations are so complicated, with so many levels, that they run out of suitable words.
# posted by Jim @ 11:10 AM 
