Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Invasion of the metas
Been reading a short book about the crusades, a word which I am reminded comes from the French for cross. But in proper post-modern style, the book tells one very little about the crusades themselves. Nothing about battles, seiges, knights in (or out) of armour or the penetrative power of Angevin swords in respect of cushions, although if interested in this last, the standard work is Sellars & Yeatman, 1930 opcit. Or contrariwise, for a discussion of the protection accorded by cushions against panzerfausts, see Beevor, 2002. The short book is much more about the meaning or lack of meaning of the word crusade to those at the time. And, more interestingly, about the way that the original scheme for giving special privileges - both spiritual and temporal - to those who took the cross to wrest back the holy places from the infidel was generalised over the years. Eventually, a crusade was more or less any war which the pope (or anti-pope) of the day wanted to promote. Be that against the Moors in Spain, the pagans in Lithuania or some gang of heretics or even political opponents closer to home. And one did not have to participate personally to get some of the privileges. One could take the oath (aka take the cross), then redeem the oath by a cash payment. Or maybe not bother with the oath at all, just drop some cash into a collecting box. Generally kick starting the whole business of indulgences. And the whole business of taxation, in the modern sense of the word. It seems that the pope organised western Christendom into 26 collectorates, with all the attendant bureaucracy, which would have done credit to HMCR. All this while the clergy argued about whether taking the cross wiped out the sins themselves or wiped out the penalties which would be exacted for those sins at the day of judgement. Leaving the charges on file, as they say. A nice distinction and an excellent training ground for Jesuits.
I also learnt that one who was regarded as a crusading hero in his time, one Raynald de Chatillon, was a fairly unpleasant type by today's standards. A rough of lowly origins who managed two very successful marriages to posh birds out east, and who went in for quite a lot of torture, piracy and pillage before being famously chopped up by Saladin, generally generous in victory, after the battle of Hattin.
All of which reminded me of a snippet from my half read, ancient biography of Henry III. It seems that in those times, roughly the time of the crusades, when the young bloods, the hooray henrys of their day, were feeling a bit restive, they would announce that there would be an informal tourney in a few days time, somewhere in the woods outside their town. A bit like an illegal rave now. And in the same sort of way as now, the priests would move heaven and earth to get a bull out in time to ban it. That failing, at the appointed time, the hoorays would all turn up, fully kitted out for the fight, and have what amounted to a small battle. While killing people was not really the point of it all, a fair amount of damage was done and people did indeed get killed. Quaintly, one could also take prisoners, who would then be ransomed in the ordinary way, with those ransoms being enforceable in the courts in the ordinary way. A binding contract.
So things have got better over the years. We now fuss about whether the hoorays should be allowed to whack foxes rather than each other.
All this, light relief from grappling with my online account with the gas board. It seems that I have ticked some box which said I would be happy with an online rather than a real bill. So I now have to log into some elaborate application which tells me all about my use of gas. At least, I assume that is the idea. But I can't make a lot of sense of it yet. Rather than just skimming the bill and dropping it in the pile of such things, I now have to learn a whole new application in order to do the same thing. I am going to have to invest a couple of training hours on it. But I suppose I am going to have to do it. My utility bills seem to be steadily rising and utilities have been known, occasionally, to make mistakes.
Now time to ponder on what to have for tea. Inclining towards ox kidneys with carraway seeds, but I have the whole five miles to Cheam to ponder about that.
Which reminds me that lovers of rock cakes should know that those from Waitrose do not conform to the standard. First, their shape is a bit improper (BS ISO 77007:2008). They are not low rise, rough cast pyramids, roughly circular in shape. Second, they are glazed, which is most improper (BS 4825-2:1991). Third, the interior is not quite right. Can't quite put my finger on it, but they do not have the dry, crumbly texture of the real thing (BS EN 13390:2002). Is it all down to the high speed low grade flour baking adopted by the supers?
# posted by Jim @ 1:22 AM 
