pumpkinstrokemarrow

Greeted at the station by three young girls just inside the entrance, all of whom were wearing very short skirts and one of whom appeared to be removing her tights or perhaps stockings. Perhaps they were adjusting their dress before entering one of the various clubs in the environs.

Up onto the platform where after a while the platform indicator indicates that the 2313 is cancelled. The last train to Chessington North, from where Epsom is maybe an hour's walk has just left. The platform announcements continues to remind us not to leave our bags unattended. No information about trains to Epsom available.

Think about getting a train to Surbiton from where Epsom is maybe two hour's walk. Actually get a train to Earlsfield. It now being a little after 2300 decide not to bother with nipping down to the 'Halfway House' for a quick one. Decide instead to get a bottle of water from the machine, at the not so modest sum of £1.40 for what looks like a third of a litre. Still, needs must. Get the first 20p piece into the slot then the £1 piece gets stuck, too far in to get the thing out again. Pressing the one button available does nothing; does not even return the 20p which did not get stuck. A helpful notice on the machine tells me that it is nothing to do with Network Rail and that if I have a problem I had better phone such and such a number quoting some six digit machine reference number. Given that it is probably after hours and I am carrying neither mobile phone nor pencil and paper this is none too helpful.

So get the next train to Wimbledon where three chaps who had thought to get to Dorking thought that maybe there was an unscheduled train to Epsom at 2355 - rather better than the 0031 which was scheduled. The platform announcements continue to remind us not to leave our baggage unattended. Decide to investigate the 'Prince of Wales'. Lo and behold the place is open and looks set to be open at least until 2400, despite it being Wednesday, a day not known for particularly late hours. So I do get to have a quick one after all. But by 2335 I am getting a bit nervous about the alleged 2355 so go back to the platform.

On the way, picking up a piece of unattended baggage outside the pub. To wit, one Logitech Mobile Traveller Special Edition, looking intact inside a more or less intact plastic wrapping. On closer examination it turns out to be a common or garden laptop carrying case with a free mouse. The latter might turn out to be quite handy as I am presently using a rather irritating spring loaded affair on my laptop, with the spring loaded lead continually curling up in the wrong direction. The only catch is that the instructions tell me that to get the best out of the thing I need to download some software from Logitech; the catch with this being that the laptop in question is not connected to the Internet. I shall find out in due course whether it works without. All of which reminds me of a minor worry, that those of us homeworkers who use PCs not connected to the Internet are fast getting left out in the cold. Won't be long before they stop issuing CDs for software altogether. All right for businesses who can afford to carry PC engineers, not so hot for the homeworker.

While I am working all this out, move onto Raynes Park on the grounds that if the worse comes to the worse I am that much nearer Epsom. But as it turns out, the 2355 from Wimbledon does turn up and I am whisked off to Epsom to walk through my door at 0110 or thereabouts, maybe an hour or so late. Luckily it had more or less stopped raining. I did not notice but fellow passengers alleged that the thing had not stopped at Ewell West, so anyone hoping to get off there had an extra half hour's walk.

And so we all get to live happily ever after. And to be fair to Southwest Trains adventures of this sort are quite few and far between.

PS just learned that New Labour press on in denial about the Stockwell shooting by giving the lady in charge on the day a gong. The lady whom I thought should have fallen on her sword.