Thursday, January 07, 2010
Prat fall
I did have a go, but I had to admit defeat today. Ignoring advice from the BH and the state of the roads, set off to the baker around 0915. Our road fairly bad, but with a thin layer of uncompacted snow on top, so not too bad. Next road much worse, with the surface not much better than a layer of grey ice. After the odd little slide, got as far as getting off and walking down to the road after that, Hook Road, which had been clear yesterday. OK, so there was a bit of snow at the kerbsides but the carriageway was wet and clear. Today not so hot, but I thought I would give it a go. Didn't seem to bad but a few moments after that slipped sideways to come down with a bump. Luckily the lady behind me had already decided that I was being a bit dumb and was a sufficient distance behind. At this point admitted defeat and trudged home. I did not think myself qualified to offer advice to the one cyclist I saw setting out on his mountain tyres. I wonder if they grip better in the snow than my high pressure road tyres? I had thought that the high pressure meant more pressure to the square inch on the ice and more chance of getting a grip but not so sure now.
Today's first conundrum is about shops, or more precisely the shops on the edge of the new estate on the western edge of Epsom, on the grounds of what used to be an asylum for all those people who are now cared for in the community. The planners in their wisdom said that there had to be community in the new estate. There had to be a village centre where a sense of community could thrive and grow. How do we do this? Answer, we make the developer build some shops. Given that the development was hatched before the bubble burst and everybody was making lots of dosh, the developer could afford to take the pain. So we now have a natty little development containing perhaps 12 shop units with flats above. The shop units have now been empty for about a year.
Down at TB we have been pondering about what one might do with 12 shop units in such a place. Back in the late fifties, they put 4 shop units in the middle of the (mainly) established estate where I was living at the time. So there was a grocer, a butcher, a newsagent and a hairdresser. None of which thrived, even in those far off days before Tescos was really invented. I would not be surprised to learn that they have been turned into houses. So now we have twelve units. Let us suppose that an all purpose store - Spar, Tesco, whatever - take three units. That will take care of fags, booze, sweets, newspapers and grocery. So no more room for any of that. A hairdresser might take one. The TB view is that a bookmaker would not thrive in this part of town; people on new estates not much into betting. Maybe when the market picks up an estate agent might take one. Maybe the Lib Dems will take one for their local office while they build up their vote there. Which pushes us up to six, maybe. But what on earth are the other six going to do? Are the planners going to run community building displays and consultations in them?
Maybe the answer is that, as with farms in the countryside, we have to subsidise small shops on estates if we want them. But is that a sensible way forward either?
Meanwhile, the former asylum chapel stands empty nearby. The Muslims were blocked from doing a bit of building of their community there and have now settled for a former church hall elsewhere, on condition that there is no sign. Probably a better location for them despite the lack of parking facilities. No-one else seems to be taking any interest in this prime community opportunity.
The second conundrum, concerns the interesting brochure put out by the Department of Business, Innovation & Skills (The Marquess of Mandelson's lot) called 'Parent Motivators'. This was the subject of a facetious piece in the DT on or about New Year's Eve. What on earth is New Labour doing spending taxpayers' money to publish a booklet advising mums not to do their adult childrens' ironing? Is there no end to the nanny state? Now the facetious piece did not include sufficient clues to enable me to find the thing itself so I send off an email to the department in question asking them where I might find it. Lo and behold, the next working day, I get an email back containing a pointer to an electronic copy. So that part of the system works. I now get to find out the title of the brochure, which Mr G. then finds without any trouble at all - in fact, the same address as in my email. So that part of the system works.
Now things start to get more sticky. At my age, not very good at reading brochures on the screen, so I go to print the thing off. Awash with colour. Every page a colour. It is going to burn up a great rake of expensive own-brand HP toner or whatever they call the stuff in those expensive little plastic boxes. But I do find that I can select the text, transfer it to a Word document, reset the font and print that. A bit of a mess but it is legible. Suggestion: that such brochures come in a home printer friendly version as well and the bells and whistles version.
I now start to read the advice which turns out to have been written for the benefit of parents of young people who have recently graduated to an absence of job. Now most of the advice is fairly sensible, although I am not too sure about the merits of scheduling weekly progress meetings with one's offspring, so that you can keep things on the move without being a pain. But it is also rather banal, maybe patronising. Do people with the go to propel their offspring to university, albeit to the University of South Hook Road, need to be told this kind of stuff?
And how are they going to be told? There does not appear to be a price so presumably the thing is a handout, to be found lying about in various support dens like job centres.
So should New Labour be doing this sort of stuff? Should it be whacking out fairly basic guidance of this sort? Do they have the processes in place to make sure that they are getting value for money? At a guess, the thing has cost £100,000 for a print run of 10,000. With maybe half of that going to the people who wrote the words and turned them into camera ready copy. Would not of thought that it would take a Registered Guidance Practitioner (one of the descriptors of the author) more than a day or so to whack out a good draft. Like falling of a bridge to folk such as that. So not a huge sum. But would a couple of new space age baths in one of the Epsom day centres been a better buy? Register your vote immediately.
PS Google ads much better targeted today. They think that I ought to be phoning up Screwfix for some ice clear granules in their half price sale. Next day delivery guaranteed! As it happens, I find our shiny new Screwfix place in Blenheim Road (no where very near the pub of the same name) quite handy altogether, being a lot nearer than any of Robert Dyas, B&Q or Wickes and slightly nearer our mini Travis Perkins, with which last there is some overlap of stock. Visit the one near you (http://www.screwfix.com)!
# posted by Jim @ 2:10 AM 
