pumpkinstrokemarrow

My first factal is the observation that I now find that Easter is not an ecclesiastical word at all, rather an Anglo or Saxon word meaning the spring goddess. The sort of goddess who would both sacrifice and mourn over her young lover. Also that Christians were not the first and are not the only people to go in for hot cross buns and baptism, this last being originally a midsummer event, at least in our relatively northern clime. So the pope thought he better make midsummer day the day for St John the Baptist so that the newly converted did not get into a muddle. He may have cheated a bit by making it June 24 rather than June 21, in the interests of keeping the calendar neat and tidy. All this from a little book by Lawrence Whistler which I found at the bottom of a heap yesterday.

My second is a suggestion for whichever tier of local authority is responsible for mending holes in the road. Given that the budget for holes in the road will be spent this year well before all the holes in the roads have been mended; that the budget for next year will probably be smaller; and, that the tier in question shows no sign of diverting funds from the cycle track, the tree felling, the road furniture or the road marking budgets (to name just four pots which could do with being a lot smaller): it is hereby suggested that road mending supplies are made available to such volunteer groups who want to spend their Sundays mending holes in the road. Road mending supplies would include type 2 sub-base (rough, dirty stuff which goes at the bottom of the hole), type 1 sub-base (a more stony and porous variety which goes next), base course and wearing course. Bitumen or some such to seal the mended hole. The lead volunteer would be expected to attend a course in DIY road hole mending at local authority expense but would also be expected to provide the tools for his team, in order to demonstrate bona fides. Both team and tools would need to be exhibited at the depot before supplies would be forthcoming. On presentation of before mobile phone shots before supplies and after mobile phone shots after supplies, supplies for a second hole would be forthcoming. And so on and so forth.

All of this, in addition to getting some holed mended, after a fashion anyway, would increase the supply of male-bonding opportunities in the borough and might well divert manpower from tree felling operations. The only catch that I can think of is that we might need some special primary legislation to suspend H&S regulations for these activities and to remove any liability for unintended consequences from both the volunteers and local government. All consequences acts of god and so neither actionable nor insurable.

My third is the allegation by the DT that our government, rather than having a grown-up discussion with voters about where the cuts ought to fall, has just released several billions of pounds for projects dear to hearts in marginal constituencies. This in a country which likes to make pompous noises when it hears about the same sort of thing being done as part of congressional elections over the pond. The trouble is, while it sounds entirely probable, quite hard to check up on. Quite hard to check up on any individual case, which might be more or less easy to justify on its merits. But one could take the big picture. If 85% of project funding in the last six months just happened to fall in Labour constituencies with a vulnerable majority, but which were not lost causes either, one might have a case. Maybe Satchi & Satchi have got some clever intern from Eton who can do the leg work on this one.

My fourth is the allegation by our Sri Lankan corner shop keeper that we should not buy cheap red lentils from Cyprus. We ought to be buying the far superior product from Whitworths, people for whom, as it happens, I have a soft spot, having used their small pink bakery cookbook (probably free with two coupons from flour bags) for forty years or so. Once home, we find that Whitworths red lentils are maybe half as big again as the regular variety. Maybe nearly three millimetres across rather than two. The germ of the lentil much more visible too. On this occasion the lentil soup was made with a mixture of regular and posh lentils so not much of a test. But it is true that the texture of our lentil soup does vary quite a lot from one batch to the next and that this may well have something to do with the quality of the lentils. Most other food stuffs come in different qualities, so why not lentils? It had just not occurred to me before.