pumpkinstrokemarrow

Between 1500 and 1600 GMT one Wednesday afternoon in the early Autumn, the sun faded and went out. Unlike in the film 'The Day after Tomorrow', which must have been aired many times over the last few years, the sun did not return bright and cheerful the next day. Some people in the days that followed thought that the problem was that no-one had been paying attention or sacrificing to Quetzalcoatl for far too long. Others thought that the end times foretold in Revelations II.iv were upon us. All that was needed to get on with them were the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. Some scientists pointed to the recent reversal of Planck's constant, which must have done serious damage to the fabric of space-time.

But that was later. At the time both Prime Minister Cameron and the Queen were taking their afternoon naps. Nervous aides wondered whether to wake them up. In the end, the Lord Mandelson stirred himself in retirement and managed to persuade the Gold Stick in waiting, Major General Sir Humphrey Bogart, KCMG Bart., that perhaps he ought to wake Her Majesty. Her Majesty, once fully awake and refreshed with a little Earl Gray, took decisive action. She phoned Prime Minister Cameron, by then also awake, and told him in no uncertain terms that this was not the time for coalition cabinets and that she was going to call a Privy Council for that same afternoon, at the Palace.

The people of London were getting a little restive, despite street lighting being brought on-stream a couple of hours early. Gold Stick got patrols from the Household Cavalry out on the streets to make sure that things stayed calm and that a quorum of Privy Councillors got through to the Palace from their clubs and other places of work. They also sent a horse for the Emeritus Professor of solar studies at University College, there being no time to reel in his Oxbridge colleagues.

The mood at the Council was rather sombre. The Chief of the Imperial General Staff explained that such sheltered accommodation as was available for VIPs had been much reduced since the end of the cold war, although it was lucky that the recently mooted further cuts had not yet been implemented. Much of it had been turned over to mushroom farms, the steady cool conditions being ideal. He could find maybe 2,000 places in the London area by 1600 the following afternoon. The chief of the VIPER secretariat explained that the National Grid should be able to keep going after a fashion, at least until the Russkies turned off the gas tap, which they probably would. They would be needing the stuff themselves. After that we would be onto rationing but there would be enough power to keep the sheltered accommodation and other essential services going for some years, provided that is that the change in temperature did not result in ice storms and such like damaging the network, which would be hard to mend in the dark. But he could not answer for the state of the population at large. The Emeritus Professor explained that the lapse of solar power was unprecedented. First thoughts were that we were experiencing a dark matter eclipse, with a large cloud of invisible dark matter occluding the sun, possibly the product of the recent supernova explosion in the constellation of Castor & Sugar. It was quite possible that the cloud would pass on and solar power would be restored. Somebody had also calculated that, in the absence of solar power, the surface temperature of the earth would cool at about the rate of 3.7C a day, with the fall slowing as the temperature reached around -130C, the temperature of the exterior which the hot interior could sustain.

Minister of Country, mindful of the awkward position of those in the country, wondered about the fate of our livestock. Minister of Agriculture thought that, in the absence of special measures, they would all be dead within 3 days. There was no sheltered accommodation for livestock. Crops would all be dead within 6 days, although with careful handling they might come back to life when the thaw came. So food supply situation not good.

Minister of Information thought that advice about how to keep warm ought to be broadcast to the nation while the nation still had working televisions and mobile phones. He thought that Prime Minister Cameron should broadcast to the nation as soon as possible. Advice about blankets and the safe use of barbecues as space heaters. Conservation of supplies without hoarding. Keep calm and stay at home. Keep tuned in to ITV3, the transmitter most likely to be able to keep going. Keep mobile phones on in case instructions are sent out that way. Keep use of Facebook to a minimum to give bandwidth to the emergency services. Best to keep Her Majesty in reserve for the moment. She agreed and he left the Council in order to set the necessary drafting work in motion.

And so the sorry situation unwound.

A few weeks later there were very few people left alive in less developed parts of the world. Things were a bit better in more developed parts of the world where power supplies were holding up after a fashion. Quite a few rodents tucked away in cosy corners, but virtually no large animals (apart from us that is). No cows, pigs or sheep, apart from the few that the VIPER secretariat had manage to ARK against the thaw. Enough to build a new stock but nowhere enough to eat. Oceans starting to freeze and glaciers starting to grow again. Dutch elm disease and the sudden death syndrome (oak) extinct. Couldn't keep up with the change.

A few weeks after that we were down to the bacteria which thrive in hot springs at the bottom of the cooling oceans. At which point the cloud of dark matter did indeed move on and everything could start all over again. Well not all over as we did have the bacteria, so that saved about a billion years of evolution.

Perhaps one could make a cartoon?

Having got that off my chest, we proceeded to Nymans Gardens at Pease Pottage. The best gardens I remember visiting. Large place with enough room for formal gardens, shrub and tree gardens and woods. Lots of unusual trees and interesting plantings. Interesting topiary, mostly of a non-bestial variety. Lots of big trees, including the tallest tree - a redwood - in West Sussex. Pity about the buildings, mostly a bit silly. And, because FIL had brought along his rollator, he got in free. Very happy bunny.