pumpkinstrokemarrow

Other people write stories about them. We have several of these on our bookshelves. Engravers do engravings of them. We have one of those on one of our walls.

But foxes are also vermin and there are far too many of them in the gardens of Epsom. They sometimes make a lot of noise. They often dig holes in the lawn, holes which are hard to repair on our hard and infertile clay soil. They often defecate on the lawn. Few of them are pretty; most of them look pretty manky, mangy or both. On the upside, it may be that they help keep down the rats and mice, but my information is that they are rather keener on slugs and earthworms. Much less bother than a nimble rodent. In any event, as far as we are concerned they are a bad thing.

Most people agree with us and for this and other reasons - including the bipedal vermin which sometimes stray into our leafy streets - most houses are fox proofed between front and back, that is to say a fox wandering in the street cannot make it to the back garden without getting over a six feet fence. Which a fox is well capable of if pressed, but we think the average fox is reasonably lazy and is not going to be jumping over six feet fences without some obvious cause - like a hamburger visible on the other side.

Which brings me on to those people who like the foxes and who do put hamburgers and such like out for them.

Probably not a matter for government, local or otherwise. What we need is a committee of residents to review the matter and make recommendations. We should start with a committee representing the island of gardens which includes our back garden. A proper committee with a chairman, treasurer, social secretary, web secretary and general secretary. Lots of flannel and meetings, annual general, extraordinary or otherwise; a proper gathering of like minded suburban folk. One might, perhaps, meet downstairs at TB.

An early task would be to survey the hundred or so houses which make up the boundary of this island and determine how many of them have not been fox proofed. A cursory check of our part of the boundary reveals just one or two houses which may not have been fox proofed. If the number turns out to be small, a delegation from the committee could visit them, firmly suggesting that some action be taken. It would probably be helpful to go armed with literature explaining why urban foxes are vermin and with diagrams & designs for simple & cheap devices to block up gaps. If absolutely necessary, one might have public meetings at which the guilty could be named and shamed.

If we succeed in blocking up the gaps, the hope would be that new foxes would not enter the island and all we had to do was eliminate those caught inside. This part of the operation would need specialist advice. Or a specialist licensed to come in and shoot the things. Entirely humanely; only instantly fatal head shots would be permitted.

So I am on the look out for a volunteer to take this on and organise such a committee. That failing I suppose one might try one of the local political parties; they are quite keen on and sometimes quite good at this sort of thing.